The ART in FIRE

Feature: Super Moms Face Challenges Together

Feature

Super Moms Face Challenges Together

by Erika Chan Moore

When my 3-year-old threw the mother-of-all-fits in the check out line of Target a few weeks ago, I should have abandoned my shopping cart and left. Instead I tried to hold my screaming pre-schooler in one hand and place my much-needed items on the conveyer with the other. My 1st grader held the baby while I tried to keep my composure, wondering how many sympathetic eyes were on me.   I could just hear the other customers thinking, “That poor woman!”  On the other hand, surely there were others viewing this public tantrum and saying, “I’ve been there before.”
As mothers, we get used to situations that require unbelievable patience and quick thinking. I know just getting out the door when juggling children and work can be challenging to say the least. In getting ready for the photo shoot for this article this morning, my baby was still asleep. As I carried her to the car to get to the Museum on time, I was wondering how I would get my still wet hair dry and looking presentable for pictures. Then our dog jumped into the car and he would not get out. So off we drove, me drying my hair with the vent turned on high, our dog excited to be joining us and my sweet Ruby still asleep!
As moms we wonder if we are doing the right things, and at times feel ambivalent in our parenting skills. Luckily we are not alone. Mothers everywhere are experiencing the same everyday joys and struggles. One of the best resources for new and experienced moms is a local mom’s group.  The MOMs Club of Visalia (MOMS offering moms support) is a local mom’s group that meets once a month at ImagineU Interactive Children’s Museum in Visalia. The museum gives babies and toddlers a chance to socialize in an interactive and enriching environment while the moms discuss a variety of topics. Made up of many self-described “transplants,” the club offers ongoing activities including park days, community service projects, and mom-centered calendar events.
Club President, Mary Pat Chavez, moved to Visalia from Yucaipa not knowing anyone. She was thrilled when she saw an ad for a mom’s group in the Visalia Times Delta and quickly made friends with other moms looking for a social network. “I met the MOMS Club at the park and found that I had many things in common with the women who were there,” Chavez said. “I come from a family of seven children, so I needed that support.”
Merina Amos also moved from Texas to Visalia with a new baby and gratefully found the MOMS Club. “I was feeling lonely and stuck at home with a newborn. I knew there had to be other moms to be social with,” said Amos. “I also learned about different activities and places to go with children.”
Tulare County has a variety of other organized mom’s groups including, South Valley Mommies, the LUNA Mom’s Club, Stroller Strides, and MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). SouthValleyMommie.com offers moms at every stage a chance to connect with other women through online chatting and once a month “face-to-face” events. All of the groups mentioned have websites with membership and contact information available.
Finding a mom’s group that works for you is just as important as finding one at all. Many mothers are not able to stay at home, and work full or part time jobs. Finding the balance of a career and motherhood can be a daunting task. The Paradise House, located at 113 W. Paradise in Visalia, offers many support groups for mothers including one for “working moms” held the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month from 5:30-7:00p.m.   All classes at the Paradise House are facilitated by Registered Nurse, Kim Stock, and are free of charge.
An important aspect of the search is to just be yourself.  Working hard to “fit in” to a mom’s group does not make a supportive community. It can take time to find a group of people you can count on and feel comfortable with. Even finding two or three moms to hang out with on a somewhat regular basis will help tremendously, and will benefit the children as well.
It’s easy to stay at home or work and juggle it as best you can, but it’s more fun to get out and join other moms! Stories of midnight feedings, sleep deprivation, picky eaters, and defiant toddlers are so familiar to anyone with a child, and it’s nice to know we’re not alone. It has been six years since I joined my first mom’s group and now our babies are in grade school. Though we don’t get together as much as we did, we still share plenty of laughs retelling the latest stories of silly behavior or the occasional temper tantrum at Target.

Erika Chan Moore is the Executive Director at ImagineU Children’s Museum in Visalia.  She will be joining Valley Trends as a contributor in a new department titled “Child’s Play”. She is a working mom and has three children, Ruby 1yr., Fern, 3 ½  and Polly 6 ½ years old.